Monday, March 28, 2016

If You "'Just' Want to be a Mom"

If I've ever heard you say you, "just want to be a mom," chances are, I've rolled my eyes at you...

I'M SORRY. Please forgive me! 

Obviously becoming a mom has changed my perspective more, but it started when I worked in a residential treatment center for young girls before I got married and realized none of them would be there if they had a mother more dedicated to her calling. 

Please don't say you are 'just' a mom anymore, because I know just as well as you do that you are SO much more than that. If you need to hear that your role as a mother is close to Godliness, watch this: Behold Thy Mother. It will be the best 16 minutes and 44 seconds of your day (besides cuddling your cuties of course.) That was truly an answer to my prayers last year. I'm not going to tell you how amazing you are because honestly, I would hope you already know that. There's no need to justify your important role to anyone! 

But I hope being a mom doesn't stop you from getting an education. I knew several women who stopped going to college because they wanted to be mothers. While that is a very prestigious eternal goal, please keep going! It's such a benefit to you and your family to get a college education! I know that none of us plan to lose our husbands when we get married wether it be to death or divorce but it happens and I just want you to be prepared. My mother was married 23 years and then my parents divorced. She was then pushed into this world she never wanted to be in. The college world, trying to get a degree so she could find a job that would pay her enough to take care of herself once the alimony was over. She did it! I am so proud of her for it! But she is not rare. Mothers all the time have to find ways to take care of their families. School is so much easier when you are younger (from what I hear). I've had several mom's in my classes who were coming back to school after divorces. 

I remember one with 4 kids, she looked to be around 30 years old. She was having a hard time with school and raising 4 kids. She was receiving child support for them. After some time, she and her Ex Husband came to an agreement that they each would have full custody of 2 kids. They went to court and it was also decided that he didn't need to pay her child support anymore since they each had fully custody of 2 children. Well that threw her for a loop so she then needed to work to pay for the kids she had. AHHH how stressful?!?! Work, school, parenting! Just pick 2 and you're stressed to the max!

Life insurance isn't the answer if your husband wants to leave you or if he looses his job and it takes him a while to find a new one. You could stay home for 20 years and if he wants out you get a few years of alimony and then you're on your own. I feel like I see or hear of a new divorce every other week. It truly saddens me! The summer I got married I had 2 close friends tell me their situations and let me know they wanted to leave their husbands. I'm sitting there thinking "HOLY CRAP! What did I get myself into?" I was a newlywed trying to give marital advice?!? What did I know? Well I can tell you that with strong gratitude for my education in marriage and family studies I asked them to both give their husbands another chance and not to leave. Well they both did excellent or maybe I had a good feeling about each and was led to say what I did, because they are each very happy with their husbands now. 

I want your families to stay together forever! But I am also not oblivious to the fact that separation can happen to anyone and I want mama's to be prepared. It's sort of like keeping a food storage. Some people may not need it, but others might be SO grateful they heeded that counsel. 

If this only encourages 1 mama to finish school who may really need that education one day, it will be worth it to me! It's never too late to go back to school. It's such a benefit to you even though you may never bring in a pay check. 

With Love,

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